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I wanted a Boy by The Subtle Mummy

The first thing people ask you when you get pregnant is, “Do you want a boy or a girl?” and my response was always the same “I honestly don't mind as long as I have a healthy baby”. Now, all jokes aside, I can't tell you how much I actually mean this and when I was pregnant with my second I wondered what I did to deserve two healthy babies, irrespective of their sex...... but, I would be lying if I said I didn't lay awake at night feeling those little kicks wondering (secretly hoping) if it was going to be a boy.

I grew up with boys all around me, 11 boy cousins and a brother 6 years older than me, it was my destiny to be a tomboy. There are pictures of my first snow trip where I am wearing my brothers hand-me-down Richmond guernsey, that came to my knees, jeans and chunky yellow gumboots. I was no fashionista, to my mum if it kept me warm and stayed on, it did the job. I wanted a son to dress up. People always comment on how cute and pretty a girl is, dressed in tutus and pompoms and ribbons in her hair, I cringed just typing that. I wanted a boy that people would tell me was “cool” and what a little “dude” he was. Having a trendy son really is a much bigger achievement than a trendy daughter because you have to really know your stuff to source trendy boys clothes.

I found myself addicted to Instagram, I looked up hashtags and found the coolest little Insta-celebrity boys I could and stalked them to see what they were wearing and where they had gotten it from. Before I knew it I had a collection of rompers, slouchy beanies, jegs, cardis, snap backs, moccs, pup scarfs, bando bibs and even a pair of hipster glasses. My husband had no idea I was spending $50 on a romper that had no press buttons on the crotch and that our son would wear all of 5 times. He did however hear about it every time we got a regram. It was as though I knew I had “made it”. Sorry, my son had “made it”. #stagemum

My mum hates most of the things I dress my son in, usually an indication I have been successful in styling him. She yells at me for buying things that are distressed saying he looks poor, clearly she didn't get the memo that “hobo” is in. Don't even get me started on how he comes home sometimes from her house if he has needed an outfit change. One day I heard the dreaded words of “We went shopping today and I bought him a few things to wear around the house”. Now I’m not ungrateful, I love my mum and she really does look after my children better than she took care of me, but the picture she sent me of his newly purchased “ensembles” nearly impaired my vision. It involved black tracksuit pants with elastic on the waist AND... wait for it... the ankle!!!! A Fireman Sam long sleeve t-shirt and another few items along the same lines. My son was chuffed, I was not. I faked enthusiasm and said, “yeah mum they're great. Definitely keep them at yours though for back up.”

I recently had a little girl and she is now me. Poor thing is in limbo between the pink gifts she received and her brothers hand-me-downs. I have already been asked many times what “HIS” name is when I have her out in public. Meh, it’s character building and I couldn't deal if she ever turned into a diva. Plus all she does is poop on everything now anyway. I will work on my girl styling I promise, but for now, and until my son gets old enough to battle me in his wardrobe selections, I will continue to enjoy my insta-obsession with boys clothes.

Thanks for reading, love you all. - Zoe

The Subtle Mummy - Mother. Wife. Teacher. Funny. Honest. Energetic. Prankster. Junk food addict. Subtle as a brick in the face.